diff --git a/.gitea/workflows/bump.yml b/.gitea/workflows/bump.yml
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ebbe277
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.gitea/workflows/bump.yml
@@ -0,0 +1,90 @@
+# Nomarchy scheduled lock bump — the automated half of "rock-stable
+# without rotting": once a week, update flake.lock (inputs track pinned
+# release branches, so this never jumps a NixOS release — that's a
+# deliberate hand-edited v2, see agent/GOALS.md), gate it, and land it
+# on main only on green. `v1` promotion stays human, always.
+#
+# Fast lane: workflow_dispatch. For a security fix upstream, run this
+# workflow manually from the Actions tab instead of waiting for Monday.
+#
+# Gate scope: `nix flake check --no-build` — the same eval tier as
+# check.yml (this runner has no KVM; see item 20 for the VM-suite
+# upgrade path). The py_compile/bash -n steps are skipped on purpose:
+# they don't read flake.lock, so a lock bump cannot break them. The
+# bump commit's own push then triggers check.yml as a second net.
+# A green bump therefore guards evaluation, not VM behaviour — the
+# checks.* suite still runs locally / at promotion time.
+#
+# Failure mode: a red gate fails this run visibly and pushes nothing;
+# next schedule retries. A push race (someone landed on main mid-run)
+# also just fails the final push — rerun or wait a week.
+#
+# Container recipe (nixbld users, sandbox=false, pinned Nix, plain-shell
+# install) inherited from check.yml — the gotchas are documented there.
+
+name: Lock bump
+
+on:
+  schedule:
+    - cron: '17 5 * * 1'   # Mondays 05:17 UTC
+  workflow_dispatch:
+
+jobs:
+  bump:
+    runs-on: ubuntu-latest
+    timeout-minutes: 90
+    env:
+      NIX_CONFIG: |
+        experimental-features = nix-command flakes
+        sandbox = false
+      NIX_SSL_CERT_FILE: /etc/ssl/certs/ca-certificates.crt
+    steps:
+      - name: Checkout
+        uses: actions/checkout@v4
+
+      - name: Install Nix
+        run: |
+          NIX_VERSION=2.31.5
+          groupadd -r nixbld 2>/dev/null || true
+          for i in $(seq 1 10); do
+            useradd -r -g nixbld -G nixbld -d /var/empty \
+              -s /usr/sbin/nologin -c "Nix build user $i" "nixbld$i" 2>/dev/null || true
+          done
+          curl -L "https://releases.nixos.org/nix/nix-${NIX_VERSION}/install" | sh -s -- --no-daemon
+          echo "$HOME/.nix-profile/bin" >> "$GITHUB_PATH"
+
+      - name: Update flake.lock
+        # Inputs track release branches (nixos-26.05, release-26.05), so
+        # the update stays within them by construction. The human-readable
+        # change list goes into the commit body below.
+        run: |
+          nix flake update 2>&1 | tee /tmp/bump-log
+          if git diff --quiet flake.lock; then
+            echo "Lock already up to date — nothing to do."
+            echo "changed=0" >> "$GITHUB_OUTPUT"
+          else
+            echo "changed=1" >> "$GITHUB_OUTPUT"
+          fi
+        id: update
+
+      - name: Gate — nix flake check (eval only)
+        if: steps.update.outputs.changed == '1'
+        run: nix flake check --no-build
+
+      - name: Commit + push on green
+        if: steps.update.outputs.changed == '1'
+        # The checkout step persists the Actions token, so this push
+        # authenticates as the workflow; its push triggers check.yml as
+        # the second net. Only flake.lock is committed — pathspec-limited,
+        # nothing else can ride along.
+        run: |
+          {
+            echo "chore(lock): scheduled upstream bump"
+            echo
+            grep -E '^(• |  )' /tmp/bump-log || true
+            echo
+            echo "Gate: nix flake check --no-build (eval tier — see bump.yml header)."
+          } > /tmp/bump-msg
+          git -c user.name="nomarchy-bump" -c user.email="actions@git.bemagri.xyz" \
+            commit --only flake.lock -F /tmp/bump-msg
+          git push origin HEAD:main
diff --git a/agent/BACKLOG.md b/agent/BACKLOG.md
index 867b01c..9954f0c 100644
--- a/agent/BACKLOG.md
+++ b/agent/BACKLOG.md
@@ -26,14 +26,17 @@ next, in what order*.
 
 ## NEXT
 
-### 14. Automated upstream lock bumps (maintainer CI, slices b+c) `[big]`
-ROADMAP § Automated upstream lock bumps — the scheduled half (the
-checks-on-push workflow shipped; see item 20 for the runner status):
-weekly job runs `nix flake update` (within pinned release branches) →
-full check suite → lands on `main` on green; `v1` promotion stays
-human. Plus the fast-lane note for security bumps. Note the current
-runner is eval-only (no KVM) — a green bump run guards eval, not the VM
-suite, until item 20's stretch runner exists.
+### 14. Automated lock bumps — confirm the first real run
+Slices b+c shipped 2026-07-05 (`.gitea/workflows/bump.yml`): weekly
+schedule (Mon 05:17 UTC) + `workflow_dispatch` as the security
+fast-lane; `nix flake update` → eval gate → pathspec-limited lock
+commit pushed to `main` on green (that push triggers check.yml as the
+second net). Update/commit/push logic simulated locally end-to-end in
+a scratch clone, incl. a real update; today's bumped lock evals green.
+Remaining (not confirmable from a session): the first scheduled or
+dispatched run must land — watch that the runner picks up the cron and
+that the Actions token can push. Then delete this item. Item 20's KVM
+runner later upgrades the gate from eval-only to the VM suite.
 
 ### 20. KVM runner → VM suite in CI `[human]`
 The remaining stretch of the CI item — checks-on-push is live and
diff --git a/agent/JOURNAL.md b/agent/JOURNAL.md
index c79d222..c6a4a6f 100644
--- a/agent/JOURNAL.md
+++ b/agent/JOURNAL.md
@@ -17,6 +17,27 @@ Template:
 
 ---
 
+## 2026-07-05 — scheduled lock-bump workflow (iteration #26, item 14 b+c)
+- **Task:** BACKLOG NEXT#14 `[big]` — split: (a) checks-on-push shipped
+  earlier; this ships (b) the weekly bump + (c) the fast-lane as
+  workflow_dispatch on the same job.
+- **Did:** .gitea/workflows/bump.yml — Mon 05:17 UTC cron + dispatch:
+  nix flake update (pinned branches by construction) → gate `nix flake
+  check --no-build` (py_compile/bash -n skipped: they don't read the
+  lock) → commit --only flake.lock with the update's change list as
+  body → push main (triggers check.yml as second net). Red gate/push
+  race = failed run, nothing lands. Container recipe from check.yml.
+- **Verified:** V0 (yq parse + bash -n each run block); logic simulated
+  end-to-end in a scratch clone with a REAL nix flake update + bare
+  remote: changed/unchanged branches, bystander file stays uncommitted,
+  push lands; today's bumped lock evals green (Monday's baseline).
+  Gitea 1.25.4 confirmed (schedule supported). The real cron pickup +
+  token push are NOT confirmable from here → item 14 slimmed to
+  "confirm first run".
+- **Pending:** watch the first scheduled/dispatched bump run.
+- **Next suggestion:** #16 greeter theming (next codeable item; #15
+  needs its design pass written first).
+
 ## 2026-07-05 — color picker (iteration #25, item 13 final slice → item done)
 - **Task:** BACKLOG NEXT#13 last slice — hyprpicker → clipboard from
   the menu + a direct bind. Item 13 complete; deleted from BACKLOG.
diff --git a/agent/MEMORY.md b/agent/MEMORY.md
index 8a91b73..90a50c0 100644
--- a/agent/MEMORY.md
+++ b/agent/MEMORY.md
@@ -13,6 +13,9 @@ iteration would otherwise rediscover.
   `sandbox=false` for Stylix IFD, Nix pinned 2.31.5 vs lazy-trees, no JS
   actions past node20) — learned over the legacy repo's 57 runs; read
   them before touching the workflow.
+- The Gitea instance is **1.25.4** — `on: schedule` workflows are
+  supported; bump.yml assumes the Actions token can push to `main`
+  (standard Gitea behaviour, but unconfirmed until the first run lands).
 - The git server is **Gitea** (gitea/act_runner via docker-compose), NOT
   Forgejo — workflows are read from `.gitea/workflows/` (or `.github/`),
   never `.forgejo/workflows/` (a whole push cycle was lost to that).